your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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