you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
