On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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