Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
