Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
