wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
