i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
