Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
