but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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