i just google imaged poop.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
