The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
