Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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