You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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