My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
