super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
