do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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