There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
