it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
