And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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