so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
