do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
