fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
