Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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