I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
