Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
