im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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