She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
