Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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