So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
