i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
