I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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