you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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