Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
