Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
someone owes me an orgasm
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
