I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
