if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
