remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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