You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
