i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
