that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
