I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
