OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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