the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
