my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
