I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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