Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
