i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
