i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
