During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
