So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
