My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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