sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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