Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
