I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
